i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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