You just made me feel so damn special
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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