I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
