as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
