Me too!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
