It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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