Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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