He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
high people should be assigned attendants
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
