booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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