I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
