when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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