Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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