I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
