i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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