Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
