I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
