i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
