dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
