mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
