I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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