cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
