just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
