omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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