i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
