I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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