Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
