All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
