my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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