okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
