They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
