I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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