in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
