This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
