I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
