As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
