sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
