Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's never too late to be topless.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
