I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
