Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
