all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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