Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
