I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
