Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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