As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
