32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
