hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
