The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
