Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
