Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
