these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
