69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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